It is highly likely that you will hold any children in joint custody with your spouse after a divorce, assuming that nobody struggles with alcoholism and there was no history of abuse in the family home. However, co-parenting effectively is a challenge, particularly if any hard feelings exist between you and your ex spouse.
Fortunately, there are ways to make co-parenting easier on everybody, including the kids. Women’s Health suggests focusing on the business of parenting, and potentially using technology to help make communicating less stressful.
Strictly business
Particularly if you and your ex-spouse have difficulty communicating without arguments, it is better to focus on your new relationship with him or her like it is a business partnership. Consider scheduling specific times to talk about your child’s needs, just like you might schedule a meeting with a business vendor or your boss. This will help you and your ex-spouse prepare for the meeting beforehand and you will not have to worry about unexpected communications.
Whenever you need to send a communication to your ex-spouse regarding the children, frame it as if you are writing a request to a client or a superior. Try not to let your ex get “under your skin.”
Use technology to help
Creating a shared family calendar can help everybody stay organized. It also can prevent scheduling mishaps, which is a common cause of argument. Anything that either parent wishes to do with the children must go in the calendar.
Additionally, you may wish to limit your communication with your ex-spouse to email only and eschew messaging services. This will help the relationship be more businesslike and help you promote professional positive communication and co-parenting.
